If Steven tought kindergarten....

On Frontier House (also known as the show you all should rent immediately), they killed a pig to provide food for a festival. The pig was primarily tended by an eight-year old boy who named the pig "Jo-Jo Pumpkin", and cried and cried when they killed the pig. His mom said, "Honey, I told you not to name the pig!" And Steven, because he is cruel and hates children, said, "No! He should name the pig! He should learn that Jo-Jo Pumpkin is where his bacon comes from!" Being eight, apparently, is no excuse for not reveling in the gritty realities of life, like eating your pets.

Thus leading to the vision of Steven the Kindergarten Teacher that I shared with Jane on Saturday. Like so many kindergarten classrooms, Steven's would have the classroom pet, a gerbil or a hamster. But unlike most classrooms, Steven's hamster would spend most of the year wearing a tiny pig costume. Towards the end of the year, when all the children had formed a bond with Mr. Fluffy or whatever they had named him on the first day, Steven would announce the upcoming party, and their need for food to feed their parents. The day before the party, they would take Mr. Fluffy over to the teacher's desk for the slaughter. After he killed the hamster, he could put it under the desk, and pull out, cooking show style, a plate of sizzling bacon! That's the circle of life, kids, and the sooner you come to grips with it, the happier you'll be.

Paid in Pod

After a months worth of work, I got the pod. 40GB, it's awesome. And Helen got me the sony headphones. They're the best. So the day was the worst. All that packing I thought I'd never finished, but then we kicked it into high gear at the end of the day and finished a lot. Then I got my ipod, which I still need to name, and the day was gr-8. I also got a free typewriter, and the N64. Now I just have to get games.

This was supposed to be a link to pictures.

After spending an hour importing, selecting and trying to upload beach pictures I finally gave up. I set up a .mac account. I'm pretty excited. Well I was excited, when I previously thought I could have a homepage. But I'm a fool for Mac's lovin'. Tonight, I got an Airport Express. Can't wait until the Units are confused about my ruckus of a dinner mix. Let's just hope I don't destroy the speakers rocking out home alone.

On to my real topic: Why is it so impossible to find jeans?
Not only are they overpriced in most stores. I couldn't seem to find any that weren't huge or too tight. At one store I got a pair of corduroys and tried on a pair of jeans from the same store 2 sizes bigger. Come on people! Keep the same sizing system throughout your store. It's bad enough that sizes change from store to store but pant-to-pant. That's just not fair. If anyone knows a good place to find cheap jeans, please tell the rest of us.

I'm really mad I have to get new jeans because of my own stupidity. I managed to get my jeans caught on something. My guess is the latch for the door because I most often catch my clothes on that. I got a little hole in my jeans and I continued to pick at it so now I have fairly small but noticeable hole that everyone likes to hassle me about.

Just like three months ago, I'm searching for a job, again . Nothing extreme I just need some extra cash. I made a deal with Missy. If I get a job before school starts I'll get my cartilage pierced with her. I'm not sure if it's an incentive or not.

Jane's at the shore all week...

And I won't lie to you. It hasn't made me have some massive change of heart about the amount of blogging I've been doing recently. I'm WORKING, Jane. Unlike some people who can't even scrape together enough money for an iPod, even though they have nothing to do with their days except think of ways to earn that money, then execute.

No, I am making this rare appearance to tell you all that there will be no further blogs being published this week. Steven has been updating a lot. You might want to try his page. Otherwise, I invite you all to write your own guest entries in the comments section. Have something you've been wanting to get off your chest for a while (*cough* mystery editor *cough*)? Think you could do a better job than the staff bloggers? Now's your chance to strut your stuff!

Possible topics:

1) What I did with my summer
2) Why Jane rules/sucks/cracks like an egg/can't be trusted
3) My favority childhood toy

Have a good week!

Waiting...

Currently in my ipod work bank I have $260. If anyone has any tasks they need to be done and would like to give an able body some cash for it, you know who to call. Sara brought up a good point to me the other day, what about tax? So that means I need another 170 dollars. I'm thinking since we're getting the airport express at the same time maybe the units will spring for the tax. Wouldn't that be delightful? Then I'd only need $140. If you don't need anything done but cash is burning a hole in your pocket I'd appreciate donations as well. Man I wish I had a job. I don't feel like waiting anymore. In general I think I'm getting anxious. Now that art class is over I really want to swim. Of Course I can barely wait to drive. And the iPod can't wait for that. Don't really feel like waiting in life. Guess I've always been impatient.

PS - Let's avoid a barf alert by having someone saying something cheesy like, "Take action!' or "Actions speak louder than words." Come on kids, I know I could change, but do I really want to? No.

I survived Horstmann Field Day 2004!

So final results Total Winners:
1st Caroline
2nd Dieter
3rd Anne

Bake-off Winners:
1st Anne
2nd Jess
3rd Jenn and Paul

So fun was had by all and it didn't rain. Some football, four square and taboo followed the field day events, and yeah it was a good time. If you missed it you're a sucker cause you missed out.

So now I'll continue to tell you about my music week! Woo Rock and Roll! So first, on Tuesday I was in the Logan Square fountain reading and then crossing the street, Snoop Dogg's tour bus pulled up! I didn't see Snoop dogg, but I did see a chase, a guy get hit by a car, a fist fight, and Snoop Dogg's crew in 10 minutes. In case you were wondering Snoop Dog has a lot of trash bags on his tour bus. Then on Thursday, Steven and I were walking down the street and a tour bus pulled up in front of us and I got all excited because I thought it would be a Warped Tour band. Then the bus stopped traffic and was all "come here" so ran up to the driver and he handed me a card. It turned out to be some crappy guy Ivory Muzik. Bad sign when they can't even spell Music right. So Michael C., not a Warped Tour band. Then I was supposed to go to Warped Tour with Alex and Aileen on Friday but then it sold out at 10 am. Sad story but I got to sleep till noon, and go out to lunch so I still had a good day. That was a pretty lame post...But if you were reading it to get a Field day recap, You're lame! You should've been there. Yeah so I'm hostile, makes for a better bully attitude.

3 more days

The First Horstmann Field Day is just days away. Are you ready? It will start around noon. Both lunch and dinner will be provided. Here's an official list of events for you to contimplate before you sign up on Saturday. We ask that everyone signs up for 3-5 event. All bakers please bring your baked good ready to eat. Everyone will participate in Kickball; you have no choice. Also we're looking for talent show judges.

1. 50 yd. Dash
2. Three-legged Race
3. Frisbee Toss
4. Wheelbarrow Race
5. Egg and Spoon Race
6. Tennis match
7. Waterbaloon Toss
8. Judging of Bake-off
9. Talent Show
10. Kickball
11. Two-lap swimming relay

Current Judges of Bake-off: Caroline Horstmann, Hans Dieter Pearcey and Steven Mavros.