On Frontier House (also known as the show you all should rent immediately), they killed a pig to provide food for a festival. The pig was primarily tended by an eight-year old boy who named the pig "Jo-Jo Pumpkin", and cried and cried when they killed the pig. His mom said, "Honey, I told you not to name the pig!" And Steven, because he is cruel and hates children, said, "No! He should name the pig! He should learn that Jo-Jo Pumpkin is where his bacon comes from!" Being eight, apparently, is no excuse for not reveling in the gritty realities of life, like eating your pets.
Thus leading to the vision of Steven the Kindergarten Teacher that I shared with Jane on Saturday. Like so many kindergarten classrooms, Steven's would have the classroom pet, a gerbil or a hamster. But unlike most classrooms, Steven's hamster would spend most of the year wearing a tiny pig costume. Towards the end of the year, when all the children had formed a bond with Mr. Fluffy or whatever they had named him on the first day, Steven would announce the upcoming party, and their need for food to feed their parents. The day before the party, they would take Mr. Fluffy over to the teacher's desk for the slaughter. After he killed the hamster, he could put it under the desk, and pull out, cooking show style, a plate of sizzling bacon! That's the circle of life, kids, and the sooner you come to grips with it, the happier you'll be.