I wanted a turtle, what did I get?

Turtle, turtle, turtle, I made you out of clay. Festive, I know. I want a turtle, we all know that. So today I went on a hunt for one. First we went to Petco, you know, where the pets go. No, all the pets, except for turtles. Actualy there weren't that many animals there. Then they directed us to another pet store. Yeah well Frazer Zo (that's right it was missing an o) smells and keeps animal in boxes. It's absurd how smelly it was. Then you look down and realize there are mice, rabbits and gerbils in these giants boxes. It was not healthy. They didn't have turtles either, but it's questionable how healthy the turtle would be if I got it there. Then we went to Petsmart, the reigning champ of all pet stores. They didn't have turtle, but they did have a $200 tortoise. Tempting, but I turned it down. But if you ever had to choose a pet store, petsmart totally rules. It has a goggolplex of animals. They had cats to adopt, puppy training, little sweaters for dogs, all sorts of good stuff. So we've come to the conclusion that it's illegal to sell turtles in Pennsylvania, and indian women have stolen them all. No wait they only steal babies. So I might ask for a turtle that you can order online for christmas. Why are turtles so complicated?